Saturday, February 16, 2013

L.P.D.C. "injustice"

The prompt for the day is "Injustice"

Of course I should be out on the street looking for injustice , but one could turn on any news channel and see hundreds of examples of injustice in the world at large. As much as it pains me to admit, there are examples of injustice in my very own home. 

This is my beautiful first born, Declan. 

He is an amazing kid!

 He is full of energy and strong as an ox.


 He is curious and incredibly kind. 

He is strong-willed and stubborn. 

As a mother who has struggled with Attention Deficit issues my entire life, I recognize too many of these traits that my genetic code has passed on to him. 

I feel like I have failed him simply by passing these difficulties on to him. 

I fear that I don't have what it takes to mother him the way he needs to be mothered. 

Children with A.D.H.D. need consistent boundaries. They need gentle discipline. 

I feel like all I ever do is put him in time out. 

I feel like I scold too much or too harshly. 

I pray daily for patience it takes to repeat myself over and over again without getting testy. I pray for the wisdom in finding the ability to strike the right balance between giving him the discipline he needs and the celebration of his unique and wonderful gifts of spirit. 
I don't ever want him to feel like a bad kid, because he's not a bad kid. He's an awesome kid. 
I don't want him to lose his glorious smile

But for all the prayers, I still feel completely inadequate when it comes to being his mother. 
He was born first to a mom who has no idea what she's doing.
He was born on the cusp of August and September so he can either be the youngest kid in class or the oldest.
He was an only child for such a brief moment. 

The world is not fair but we have to do our best to be as fair as possible. 

Please pray with me that I can be the kind of mom he needs. 

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