Boston.

Here's the thing about the running community: It's 100% a tribe... And you don't even have to be a fast, elite athlete to be in it. Heck, you don't even have to lace up or train. It can be as simple as volunteering to pass out t-shirts at registration, or waking up early to hold a sign and holler "GO FAST, MAMA!" to be in it. The running tribe is made up of runners and spectators, volunteers, spouses and offspring, parents and friends, police, medics etc. Every person counts. Every person is necessary in making it happen.  If you have a heart full of love and joy beating in your chest, you're in! It's true.

Which is why we are all hurting so bad. Which is why I can say for certain that the evil that did this today was no part of our tribe. We know how hard those runners trained and sacrificed to EVEN QUALIFY to participate. We know that, at mile 26, they were so close to a dream fulfilled. We know HOW LOUD and EXCITED and JOYFULLY those spectators and volunteers were cheering. And we are devastated that someone so cruel could rob countless racers of the dream of those coveted finishers medals, far too many people of their limbs, three families of precious loved ones. Someone could dare rob OUR TRIBE of those three important members.

Oh Boston.

Proud.

I am a proud mama.  My boys are the light of my life. They make my heart explode about a million times a day for a million different reasons. I will give a brief run-down of their personalities: Both boys are happy, smart, sweet, funny, loving and stubborn in their own ways. They are very similar in most ways but differ in a few key traits. Declan had colic and didn't sleep through the night until he was 11 months old. Aengus, on the other hand, barely made a peep and was sleeping through the night before 4 months old. Aengus is laid-back (possibly the side effect of being born second) and very cautious while Declan has no in-born sense of self-preservation and, well, he's my spicy fella. 

Declan has had a rough week. It's likely due to his staunch refusal to nap (Oh, only since he was 18 months old. We tried to force it about once every 3-6 months for a while, but usually those 20 minute power naps ended in major mischief of epic proportions. Imagine what would happen if you were to leave a billy goat/raccoon/honey badger-hybrid in a toddler's room for 20 minutes)  despite waking up earlier and earlier. So,  yeah, some major melt-downs and hot toddler tantrum action have been reported this week. He had to go to the preschool principal's office both days. :(

He's also been in full-tilt danger-tot mode. Evel Knievel's got NOTHING on this boy. I'm guessing he's averaged a concussion a day. 

He's been a hand full of dynamite this week but still... he tries so hard to be a good boy. He hugs fiercely, he smooches freely, he readily apologizes and he still makes me proud a hundred times a day for a hundred different reasons.  I will say in no uncertain terms that never before have any of those reasons ever been based on his behavior in a restaurant... until tonight. 

So, yes, I am bragging on my amazing, fearless kid despite all the time-outs and trouble! We decided to take the boys out to dinner at a restaurant we've never been to as a family. It was a yummy Thai restaurant. Declan sat down, spoke politely to the server, didn't wander all over the establishment or make a big scene. He didn't yell or get mad. When the food was brought, he ate EVERY bite we put on his plate. He tried everything (and we didn't play it safe, folks) and even asked for seconds. 

He. Was. Awesome! 

I am so proud of my little foodie and I am thrilled we were able to end a bumpy week on such a positive note! 

Three cheers for Declan!

 Hip! Hip! HOORAY!

Failing at Lent.

You guys... It's just not going to happen. Forgive me. We had a few really great first few days of Lenten photos, but it really was too ambitious.

L.P.D.C. "Settle"

L.P.D.C.

The prompt today is "Settle"

The boys were restless little souls today. 

It took forever for them to wind down and rest their little bones this evening. 

I initially thought I would end up taking a photo of our little funny pug, Stella, nestled in Aengus' chair. She's the queen of "Settle" as she could find a nest anywhere. 

That's not what happened. 

This is what I found with my camera and my flash about 20 minutes after the bedtime wailing and gnashing of teeth subsided. 

So. Much. Drama. 

Sometimes, it's two sides of the coin. Nothing profound tonight. Sleep tight!

L.P.D.C. "injustice"

Lenten Photo of the Day Challenge

The prompt for the day is "Injustice"

Of course I should be out on the street looking for injustice , but one could turn on any news channel and see hundreds of examples of injustice in the world at large. As much as it pains me to admit, there are examples of injustice in my very own home. 

This is my beautiful first born, Declan. 

He is an amazing kid!

 He is full of energy and strong as an ox.

HE NEVER SITS STILL. EVER.

 He is curious and incredibly kind. 

He is strong-willed and stubborn. 

As a mother who has struggled with Attention Deficit issues my entire life, I recognize too many of these traits that my genetic code has passed on to him. 

I feel like I have failed him simply by passing these difficulties on to him. 

I fear that I don't have what it takes to mother him the way he needs to be mothered. 

Children with A.D.H.D. need consistent boundaries. They need gentle discipline. 

I feel like all I ever do is put him in time out. 

I feel like I scold too much or too harshly. 

I pray daily for patience it takes to repeat myself over and over again without getting testy. I pray for the wisdom in finding the ability to strike the right balance between giving him the discipline he needs and the celebration of his unique and wonderful gifts of spirit. 

I don't ever want him to feel like a bad kid, because he's not a bad kid. He's an awesome kid. 

I don't want him to lose his glorious smile

But for all the prayers, I still feel completely inadequate when it comes to being his mother. 

He was born first to a mom who has no idea what she's doing.

He was born on the cusp of August and September so he can either be the youngest kid in class or the oldest.

He was an only child for such a brief moment. 

The world is not fair but we have to do our best to be as fair as possible. 

Please pray with me that I can be the kind of mom he needs. 

L.P.D.C. "See"

Lenten Photo of the day challenge

The prompt today was "See"

**Spoiler alert**

 My family is my whole wide world so pretty much all of the pictures I post are going to be of them. If you do not enjoy pictures of the world's greatest dogs, impossibly beautiful children and a breathtakingly handsome husband/father then you better lurk someone else's blog. 

This is Aengus. He's my youngest heartthrob. Here he was playing in a blackout tent and peeked out to say "Faprise!" 

I see a bright light in a dark place when I look at this picture. 

This is my Aengus.

L.P.D.C. "Return"

http://rethinkchurch.org/article/lenten-photo-day-challenge

Today's photo prompt was "Return"

I have two photos from today and they are both of the same subject.

Both I find to be visually interesting images as well as fitting. 

Is there any coincidence that "Dog" is "GOD" spelled backwards?

What if we remembered that a dog's faithful love is the way God loves us broken down into small enough pieces for our feeble human minds to understand? 

Faithful.

Devoted.

Forgiving.

Unconditional. 

(even when we skip a walk or are too slow filling up the water)

So incredibly happy to see us return. 

L.P.D.C. "Who am I?"

http://rethinkchurch.org/article/lenten-photo-day-challenge

My dear friend, Erica, encouraged me on facebook to participate in a photo-of-the-day Lenten challenge. I decided to go for it. The link above will explain. So I thought I'd post them here with just a few words. If this is too introspective, please forgive me. I try not to do too much navel-gazing or philosophize too much here but Lent is a time of renewal... so I'm doing it.

The first day's prompt is "Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

I was known in my family/circle/pool-that-i-lifeguarded-at for always having my toes done. It's my thing. The pedi has always got to be fresh. I've had a foot obsession all of my life (as my parents will attest). Currently my toes are painted in a sandy textured purple glitter polish. No one in my current/recent life knows this about me unless they've seen me in sandals.

Maybe it's because I'm a mom or maybe it's because I'm a wife. Maybe it's because I no longer work  for a paycheck. Maybe it's because I am recovering from a bout with the flu and household stress has been weighing pretty heavy on me... or maybe it's because I've washed and folded and put away what feels like a dozen loads of laundry over the past 2 days... but some days I feel like I've lost myself. Like "Katy: The individual" is taking a backseat to a mountain of laundry. 

I initially took a photo of two little backpacks. 

I had just filled them. "Who am I? I'm a mom, I guess. " I thought.

Up to the point where I picked up my camera to take this shot last minute, I had just spent every second of  today being "Mama". I took one potty, carried the other downstairs, made little breakfasts, changed a diaper, put little shirts and pants and socks on little bodies, smooched little faces, wiped little noses, folded and hung up more little clothes than you could shake a stick at,broke up a fight then it was time  to make lunch...I could go on but I won't because I think you probably get the idea.  I didn't have time to drink water.  I was non-stop moving.

"So maybe I should take a picture of the backpacks I just filled" I thought.

And then I looked down...

I saw my purple glitter toes looking up at me from the kitchen floor I've walked across hundreds of times today alone... Kissing "bonked noggs", giving lots of hugs, making little tiny peace treaties with my little tiny humans that God blessed me with. 

This is my life.

But there they were. 

Staring back at me. The last vestige of my individual self.

In the picture they look far away and distant... You can't tell that they have glitter. You can't really even distinguish if they're even purple at all. 

That's Ok. 

I've always loved "making the ouchies go away" and cooking nourishing food for people that I love and hugging little tiny humans... The nature to nuture has always been a part of me, this wife-mama aspect. But Wife-Mama took a backseat while Purple Sparkly Toes did her thing. Now it's Purple Sparkly Toes turn to sit back. This is not her time to shine. 

This is Wife-Mama's season. (Purple Sparkly Toes is still there, though.)