A.D.H.D. melt-down.

The past 2 and a half weeks have looked like this:

My Mama (Or "Gramma" as she's known around these parts) had a non-life-threatening medical emergency that required emergency surgery and a brief medical suspension of driving privileges.

My Daddy (A.K.A. "Grandaddy") then followed that up with a non-life-threatening medical emergency and a brief medical suspension of driving privileges of his own.

Got my hair did. And dyed some of it pink. It's cute and I don't have a boss to dictate inappropriate so party on, Wayne. 

Easter (Holy Salvation, Batman...And too much candy.)

A plane ride to Buffalo by myself. Oh wait... Did I just say "By Myself"? I had both children with me. (Ben stayed home because he had to work)

 Neither child has hit the ripe old age of 3 yet.

Full flights. Most definitely not alone. 

Seven nights of sharing a bedroom with both of my sons.

And of not playing footsie with my sweet husband. 

Return flight back to Tennessee with both boys in tow.
(I threatened to leave the big one a time or two) 

567 images uploaded from camera onto computer.

CRAAAAP! 

Now I have to delete and edit.

**Overwhelmed and shuts down**

In case you've ever wondered...

Here's what I look like. 

I think it's very telling that I'm out of focus in this photo.

Have a nice day. 

The illusion of perfect mothering...

Someone called me "such a good mother" today.... I KNOW, Right? Obviously, she missed the blog about Aengus rolling off the changing table. I looked behind me to see if there was another, more put-together woman with a well-behaved child standing behind me in line because MY SON (the one in the dirty t-shirt and the animal-cracker-crumb fu manchu ) had just butt-shoved the lady in front of us in line. He then proceeded to roll around on the floor of T.J. Maxx(which he calls "Mama Mac!"because... gosh, I dunno. Maybe he thinks she'd like it.)  in an attempt to lather up his total rage and frustration at HAVING LIFE SO INCREDIBLY EASY into a full-tilt, multi-octave tantrum. She could not have possibly meant me. But she did.

I apologized to her friend and then I stopped the tantrum by encouraging him to sing a theme song to a TV show (one of many) he watches ALL THE TIME. It worked... and then he got a book as a treat.

And then I had to muscle him back into his carseat while he bucked and hollered.

And I potty trained him using candy and toys and bribery.

And sometimes we eat lunch in front of the t.v.

Also, my son knows a lyric to "I'm sexy and I know it..." (blame his uncles and his father for that one).

My point is this... I'm not perfect. I'm ridiculous. I'm not even that great of a mother. I'm doing the best I can. Sometimes I cuss. Frequently, I loose my patience with the boys and yell about 100% more than I need to out of sheer frustration. I'm trying every day to improve but the truth is that I was a waaaaay better parent before I had actual human children.

I want to be a great mom.

 A mom with well-behaved children.

A mom who doesn't raise her voice.

 A mom that has it all together.

I I know my blog is typically happy and my pictures are bright and vivid but I've got a very long way to go. Don't believe me? Look closer...

This baby is FILTHY! 

(and happy. Good enough. )